The following article was written by Kristin Keck, a Teen Associate at the Manitowoc Public Library.
Hello. I am Kristin Keck, the Teen Services Associate at Manitowoc Public Library. Normally, I take a more lighthearted tone in these articles about library programs for Teens, but today I felt a more formal approach was called for as I want to propose a serious philosophical question, perhaps one of the most serious of our age.
It confounds the finest minds of the internet, sinking sometimes into a quiet murmur, but never entirely leaving public discourse. There are solid arguments—both pro and con—and truly it is a conundrum that will befuddle humanity until the end of time.
Is a hot dog a taco?
According to the Cube Rule of Food Identification, which assigns categories according to the position of the structural starch, the hot dog is most assuredly a taco. Unfortunately, the Cube Rule would also identify pizza as toast, a Swiss roll as sushi, and a Big Mac as cake, which somewhat undercuts its credibility (presumably spaghetti would be some sort of Lovecraftian horror from the Outer Dark).
Colorado, New York, and California have legally defined the hot dog as a sandwich for tax purposes, but the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (NHDSC) has declared the hot dog its own “culinary entity” and, therefore, not a sandwich or a taco. The debate rages on.
Kristin Keck
And this brings us to the larger question, one that has barely even touched the consciousness of the global zeitgeist and yet one that cries out for attention in the midst of our noise and confusion. On the evening of Thursday, May 7, from 6-7 PM, a group of dedicated teenage seekers will gather equipment and ingredients in the Balkansky Community Room of Manitowoc Public Library to open the inquiry into this most momentous question of our day:
What is a waffle?
Is a waffle simply a sweet, bready breakfast article, drowning in syrup, ignored and consigned to obscurity? Is it merely the sum of its squares or can it be something more? If it is stuffed, does it become a sandwich? If it is made of something other than bread, does it cease to be a waffle? Will mac and cheese waffle? How gooey can it get?
What if pickles are involved? What then?!?
These are important questions that need answers, both in the scientific and philosophical realms.
It is a brave new world that opens before us, a world of fantastic flavors and incredible insights. Not all experiments will end in triumph. Not all ventures are successful, but every step is progress in the great journey of knowledge. We forge ahead bravely, risking the danger of hot waffle irons and mismatched flavors. Together we will seek the answer.
What is a Waffle? And what is it, truly, that makes something Wafflelicious?
