With saddened hearts, we announce the unexpected passing of our ever selfless mom, grandma, & great grandma, Patricia “Patty” Mae (Toltzmann) Kirchen. Patty was surrounded by her daughter & her caregivers, and, comforted by her son over the phone, as she entered into eternal life, at Sylvan Crossings Maritime Gardens Assisted Living & Memory Care in Manitowoc, WI, on the morning of Wednesday, July 19, 2023.
Patty, 75, was born on May 11, 1948, in Manitowoc, WI. She was the eighth, and youngest, child of Earl (“Smokey”) O. & Anna E. (Sleger) Toltzmann. Patty attended school in Manitowoc, WI, graduating from Lincoln High School with the Class of 1966. After high school, she worked in the sales office at Kelvinator in Manitowoc, WI.
On October 17, 1970, Patty married the love of her life, James (Jim) R. Kirchen. As their love story goes, they grew up in the same neighborhood & knew each other since they were children. Patty always said he used to throw rocks at her when they were kids & Jim always said she thought she was better than him. They had many friends in common along the way, but, they both said they were not fond of one another, or, were they? They started dating after they were “forced” to stand up together in a friend’s wedding in 1969. Their children will tell you that this banter of their love story went on throughout the years with a twinkle in both of their eyes as they would each tell their version of the story.
Together, Patty & Jim, raised two amazing children, a son & a daughter, whom they were both so very proud of. Patty & Jim sacrificed the luxury of many material things over the years in order for Patty to be able stay home with their children, which was a priority for both of them. With the patience of a saint, Patty taught her children how to care, how to love, & how to use what you have & how to give selflessly. She was the epitome of “giving.” As a wife, she gave all that she had to love & serve her “soulmate,” Jim. There seemed to be no end to what she did to keep her home & family operating like a well oiled machine, as Jim was hard at work. As a mother, she gave everything she had to be sure her children knew they were loved. She provided for them as much as she could with whatever resources she had. She was very resourceful, nothing went to waste. When her kids & grandkids needed last minute art project supplies, the exact items would somehow magically appear from the basement & she was right there lending a helping hand. Patty also shared her time & talents with her community by volunteering for activities that her children were involved in: she was a Boy Scout & Girl Scout leader, volunteered on the playground at school, taught Sunday School for St. Francis of Assisi Church on Grand (formerly St. Andrew’s), in Manitowoc, WI, & much more. In addition, Patty was a proud lifetime member of & volunteered as secretary for 47 years at Shoto Conservation Club, which her parents were instrumental in starting in the 1950s. She led by example, teaching her children the importance of selflessness & volunteering. Until her passing, Patty instinctively continued to provide help to those around her, even while she herself needed help. Throughout her entire life, she all too often set aside her needs to ensure that others around her were happy & comfortable.
While home, taking care of her own children and volunteering extensively, Patty provided childcare for three neighborhood children for a few summers. Then, from 1986-2009, she worked at Manitowoc County Health Care Center as their receptionist & later as an activity aide. Patty had a knack for getting people to participate in (and enjoy) activities they normally wouldn’t. She absolutely loved interacting with the residents & making them smile.
Patty & Jim enjoyed many weekends in Wisconsin Dells. They loved to take drives off the well beaten path. They loved spontaneous road trips to Door County just to get Cedar Crest Ice Cream from Wilson’s. Their kids teased them because they lived just a few blocks from the Cedar Crest Ice Cream Plant & Parlor. But, Jim always said it was better at Wilson’s because they put a jelly bean in the bottom of the cone.
Patty loved the beauty of water & their home next to Lake Michigan. She loved being able to see & hear the lake, and, view the sunrise every single morning. Patty looked forward to their annual summer vacations. For years, they went to White Earth Lake in Minnesota with Patty’s sister, Jean, & her family. Patty & Jim then vacationed with family on Pike Lake near Minocqua, WI. And, in 2009, just before retiring, they purchased a place at the Rustic Resort near Embarrass, WI. This is where they spent much of their summers for 13 years. They loved to have their kids & grandkids visit them “at the lake.” Patty’s “happy place” was anywhere there was a lake & sand! She loved playing in the water & sand with her kids, grandkids, & great grandkids. She looked forward to the endless hours of just floating around the lake, with Jim, on their pontoon during his “four hour tours.” Patty enjoyed all things nature & being outdoors. She enjoyed taking in the warmth of the sun while tending to her flower gardens (“playing in the dirt” as she called it!) & making snow angels in the freshly fallen snow with her children & grandchildren.
Patty had a unique love of crafting – seemingly able to make something out of nothing at all – weaving the lake bed weeds into beautiful wreathes, painting plain ordinary rocks, & painting walking sticks. Patty was extremely artistic & often made water color or pencil drawings. Over the years, Patty created many unique displays for the Rahr West Art Museum’s “Art of Table Setting” exhibits. In addition, she always made extra special table settings at home for special occasions, holidays, and, sometimes just for fun. In recent years, she created an absolutely gorgeous Disney “Frozen” themed table setting for her grandchildren with real ice. Patty always made beautiful homemade birthday cakes, decorations, and party favors for her children. She always went above & beyond to include details to make everything extra special. She also made large, hand painted signs to celebrate occasions for our family & friends. Patty sewed many clothes, Halloween costumes, & special occasion outfits for her children & grandchildren, even making her granddaughter’s prom dress. Patty loved to dunk her toast in her morning coffee, and, her grandchildren loved having coffee with grandma & dunking their toast in a tiny cup of coffee, too. She looked forward to proudly watching and cheering on her grandchildren in all of their activities. Patty enjoyed playing board games & cards with her family, as well as with her tight nit group of lady friends, called “The Card Club.” She enjoyed teaching her children, grandchildren, & great grandchildren to love these activities as well. The time spent on simple activities, and, the conversation & life lessons learned, will never be forgotten.
Patty enjoyed dancing in her younger years and always talked about what a great dancer Jim was. Since Jim’s passing, Patty’s dementia struggles accelerated rapidly. Not remembering Jim was gone, she often asked where he was, what he was doing, if we had talked to him, or when he would pick her up from “work.” She also sadly realized and said one day, “No one is ever going to dance with me again.” Although we are extremely heartbroken by the loss of our mom, we are comforted knowing that she has been reunited with her soulmate, that she will never have to wonder where he is again, & they will dance again together, forever in Heaven.
Patty is survived by her son: James T. & Jill Kirchen of Chippewa Falls, WI; her daughter: Michelle (Mickey) & Greg Shea of Manitowoc, WI. Grandchildren: Jordan & Christina Kirchen of Cloquet, MN; Kate Kirchen & her fiancé Taylor Porrier of Chippewa Falls, WI; Charles, Emmie, & Jacob Shea of Manitowoc, WI. Great grandchildren: Harper, Gideon, & Teagan Kirchen of Cloquet, MN. She is
further survived by sister: Nancy Vilhauer of Eau Claire, WI; brother: Bruce Toltzmann of Green Valley, AZ & Wausaukee, WI; sister-in-law: Shelia Toltzmann of Friendship, WI; sister-in-law: Joan Toltzmann of Rancho Mirage, CA; Jim’s sisters: Barbara & Glenn Schneider of Townsend, WI; Katherine Klein of Manitowoc, WI; Marilyn Rysticken of Manitowoc, WI. Nieces & nephews: David Toltzmann; Jason & Scott Toltzmann; Brian, Kevin, & Steven Toltzmann; William Longmeyer & Katie Haberman; Linda Thomas, Jeannette Kokesh, Steven Latimer, & Scott Onasch; Eric Vilhauer & Christine Berg; David, Steven, Daniel, Joseph, & Peter Schneider; Debra Risch & Michael Klein; Susan Oswald, Mark Rysticken, & Jennifer Kropp. Her feathered friends, her parakeets: Phil (Blueberry) & Bill (Cauliflower); grand-dogs: Finn & Roscoe. Survivors also include great nieces & great nephews, as well as, too many friends to mention by name.
We know that Jesus took Patty’s hand & guided her to Heaven. She has been reunited with Jim, her parents, whom she loved & missed so much, as well as her loved ones & friends who passed before her. Patty was preceded in death by her husband: James (Jim) R. Kirchen on February 6, 2022; her parents: Earl (“Smokey”) O. & Anna E. (Sleger) Toltzmann both passing in 1984; her grandparents: William & Alvina (Woelfert) Toltzmann; Frank & Anna (Doubek) Sleger; Jim’s parents: Raymond & Leona (Lishka) Kirchen; her family: Roy Toltzmann; James & Marlene (Toltzmann) Longmeyer; Fred & Jean (Toltzmann) Onasch; Dale Toltzmann; Richard Toltzmann; her brother-in law: Melvin Vilhauer; infant niece (daughter of Richard & Joan Toltzmann); nephew Mark Toltzmann; Jim’s family: brother-in-law James Rysticken; Jim’s infant sister: Mary; niece Amy Reinecke. She was also preceded in death by aunts, uncles, & cousins. Besides her family & friends, we know that she was greeted at Heaven’s gates with a plethora of unsolicited love & affection by her childhood dogs & goldfish & her raccoon that her dad brought home for a pet; our family dogs: Pepper & Lucky; our family birds: Petey, Tweety, Pickles, & Toto; her grand-dogs: Cera, Echo, & Buddy.
A special thank you to all who provided their loving care while she lived at at Sylvan Crossing Maritime Gardens Assisted Living & Memory Care. With our mom’s rapid decline in memory & physical abilities, due to dementia & Parkinson’s, we would have never been able to provide the exceptional care that was given by their staff. The last few months that we were able to spend with our mom as her “family” instead of as her “caregivers” will be cherished forever. Mom didn’t want us to be her “caregivers,” nor, did she want her grandchildren or great grandchildren to remember her as anything other than “grandma.” Our mom’s last 8 months of her life were filled with extra special love & care provided from the heart by those who have become our extended family: Sherry T., Monica, Courtni, Nelly, Ntxhoo (Zong), Tashah, Carrie Anne, Tammy, Don, Tonya, Marcie, Tanya, Lori, Sherry S., Heather, Cynthia, Tiffanie, Diane, Willow, Sam, Tina, Lisa, Summer, Alicia, Nancy, Liz, Raven, Hope, Elveda, & Jackie. The “girls” & Don made our mom smile & laugh every single day. We are grateful for the very personal, real, & down to earth love that was shown to our mom…the kind of love that someone shows their own mom. In addition, we would like to thank St. Croix Hospice, Home Care Health Services & Hospice, & Promedica Hospice for the loving services they provided as well.
In lieu of flowers, please plant a perennial in your garden in Patty’s memory or send memorials in her name to: Shoto Conservation Club, Rahr West Art Museum, Dementia Society of America at www.dementiasociety.org or the Parkinson’s Foundation at www.parkinsons.org
Visitation will be held from 9:30am until the time of the funeral service at 11:00am, at Harrigan Parkside Funeral Home & Crematory. Officiating at the service will be Rev. Jason Blahnik with burial immediately following the service at Evergreen Cemetery. Patty will be laid to rest next to her husband, in the burial plot that she chose, just feet from where her childhood home once stood on the cemetery property. Following the funeral service, a lunch for family & friends will be held at the Harrigan Parkside Gathering Center, located on the south property of the Harrigan Parkside Funeral Home & Crematory. Online condolences may be sent to the family at www.harriganparksidefuneralhome.com.
The Harrigan Parkside Funeral Home & Crematory, North 11th & St. Clair streets, Manitowoc, WI, is assisting the family with funeral arrangements.