Depression continues to be a major problem for many people, especially over the past year during the pandemic. While everyone may experience it differently, our own Ryan Brahm shared his experience of how battling the unseen illness affects him.
“For me, depression manifests itself with a heavy feeling in your chest. Not a pain, just a feeling like someone filled a bag with sand and surgically implanted it inside your chest.
It manifests itself by feeling like your life is garbage, even though you know that everything is fine.
It manifests itself by taking the smallest inconvenience or negative experience and expounding it exponentially. You dropped a pen at work? Well congratulations, now you are way angrier than you should be given the situation. A project didn’t come out exactly the way you wanted it to? Congratulations, now you are sad to the point of not wanting to try anymore.
It manifests itself by taking things you found joy in just a few days ago and making them seem like a huge trouble.
It manifests itself by making you so very tired. Waking up is hard. Staying awake is hard. Going to work is hard. Spending time with loved ones is hard.
It manifests itself by you not wanting to tell anyone how you are feeling because you don’t want them to feel like they are the reason you feel this way. These feelings are no one’s fault, yet here you are, struggling with everyday tasks, and struggling with being able to hold conversations because you don’t want others to feel the way you do. You don’t want to say anything that will make them sad or angry, because you know how crappy it feels to experience that all day.
The worst part is there isn’t anything I or anyone else can do to ‘fix’ the problem. While in this state, my brain doesn’t allow for any positive compliments to sink in, or for me to take them to heart. In my head, they are just saying these things to be nice.
In my experience, the best way to help someone going through this kind of experience is to simply be there and listen if they want to talk about it. You don’t have to have the answers, because honestly most of the time, there simply isn’t one.
If you are going through a depressive state, keep in mind, you are not alone. I have been there, and I believe in you. I am more than willing to talk with you. My phone number is 920-920-6343.
We will get through this…together.”
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255.